I Can Coaching Blog2012-05-27T13:50:00ZVictoriaCopyright 2012, VictoriaSPHPBLOGMy Tipping Pointwww.madmortgageworld.com posted the following question on his blog: He asked, "What was your tipping point?"
He wanted to know what was the moment, situation, thing or event that pushed a person into their individual perception of good fortune and success.
This question rang sharply for me...literally struck a chord in my soul.
I believe in being transparent in all relationships...family, friends, co-workers and yes...clients and customers, too.
Thank you, Daniel for this opportunity...
Sometimes it takes an arm bar, a rear naked choke or good chopping leg kick (Yes, I am a HUGE UFC fan) to finally “tip” over into the realm of good fortune.
I will tell you that at the young age of 25, in my first “real”, Corporate job and through the next 10 years at other 40hr, no 50hr, wait, no..60hr per week, “real” Corporate jobs, I was always a star player, ladder climber, awards achiever, bottom line-growth-driver. I do not say this out of ego..NO! The truth is that I may have worked in leadership at “real” Corporate jobs, but I never made any “real” money…until the moment I was given that final spinning back fist!
I won’t bore the readers with the gory details, but will cite here a few phrases that will paint the picture, one you’ve likely heard before or lived through yourself…
“Ran under a bus” “Scape goat” “Political warfare” “C.Y.A”
This was the final round for me. Badly battered emotionally and searing with the injustice of it all I was FORCED to reevaluate just what the heck was I doing for the past 10 years anyway. Now after I threw myself a couple of raging self-pity parties, I realized that regardless of my corporate bumps and bruises, I had ALWAYS been tapped into my one true passion…leading people to their own vision of success.
After 10 years of supervising, managing, training, mentoring and then finally, purely coaching..all for other businesses, I immediately poured myself into building my very own coaching business model and platform. Here’s where it gets sappy…the floodgates opened and in less than 30 days I had developed a website, a business plan and suddenly had 4 clients, then 6, then 10…THE TIPPING POINT.
Moral of my story: Thank the next guy that gives you a real good a**-kicking, once you’re down on the mat, the only thing left to do is to RISE.
-Coach Victoria “Grateful for the a**-kicking” Del Frate ]]>http://pblog.icancoaching.net/index.php?entry=entry080620-1035362008-06-20T00:00:00Z2008-06-20T00:00:00ZThe Right Road What do these phenomena have in common? They lack a consciousness or satisfaction of the “Present.” The unspoken and likely unconscious message that we are activating in our external world is, “Whoever I am today, wherever I am today, and whatever I have today is not good enough .” You may be thinking, ‘Well, what’s wrong with wanting more or something different?’ Absolutely nothing! However, if we neglect to experience the NOW, to be conscious of all that we could be grateful and joyful for TODAY, then when exactly will we ever know what it is to be satisfied, rested and peaceful?
Eckhart Tolle, author of “A New Earth-Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose” defines Presence as “…a state of inner spaciousness.” He further explains, “When you are present, you ask: How do I respond to the needs of this situation, of this moment ? In fact, you don’t even need to ask the question. You are still, alert, open to what is. You bring a new dimension into the situation: space.”
Being present and recognizing our inner “space” are powerful tools in feeling fulfilled and content every day, not just on the days when we’ve achieved a goal, closed a sale, or made a million.
So why is it that most of us struggle to remain in the here and now and instead spend an inordinate amount of mental energy in yesterday and tomorrow? My personal theory is that “the road” of NOW isn’t always as sexy, exciting, dramatic or emotion-filled as the roads of the past and future. Being the ego-driven creatures that we all are (or most of us, minus Buddha, Jesus, Lao Tzu…you get the picture), we tend to crave thoughts, stories, and memories that are all about ME and I. We can spend surprisingly long periods of time berating ourselves over what we didn’t do in the past or visualizing our wants and desires of the future.
But what happens when you focus on exactly what is in front of you now? What happens when you are present and fully give your attention to an employee, a customer, or your child? What happens when you immerse yourself in the issues, tasks and decisions of today? What happens to I and ME? Isn’t it true that I and ME begin to fade into the background? Is your inner monologue not hushed? Your emotions less all-consuming? Your days more productive and satisfying?
When we are not focused on the present, our inner dialogue takes over and the stories that consume us, those from the past and of the future, elicit feelings that often are negative and obsessive and can debilitate our ability to get things done. We become so obsessed with the stories of ME and I, that we associate with things that we cannot change or haven’t even happened, thus leaving us with a feeling of being stuck.
Getting un-stuck is a matter of consciousness and faith. To become more conscious of the moment, and to have more faith in the fact that all roads you have ever traveled and will travel will be the right ones, takes practice. Just by being aware that your inner space is being filled with ME and I stories is the first powerful step in being able to refocus on the here and now. The more you can catch your inner dialogue and become an observer of the story instead of the lead role, the more you will be able to harness the power of directing your focus on the tasks at hand, and living more happily and productively in the present.
Traveling the road of the “here and now” is not an easy task, but for those of us brave enough…well…I think Robert Frost said it best when he wrote:
Two roads diverged in the woods, and I- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
-Coach Victoria]]>http://pblog.icancoaching.net/index.php?entry=entry080430-0939362008-04-30T00:00:00Z2008-04-30T00:00:00ZFrom Fall to Grace So what exactly is it to have “grace” in our day-to-day, living and what does it cost us to fall from it, exactly? Let’s look at an example to better illuminate this idea. It’s the New Year, and you have spent two solid days brainstorming, building, editing and re-editing your business or life plan for 2008. You were determined that nothing short of a tsunami, Class 4 twister or ground-swallowing earthquake could keep you from accomplishing this task. You even took precautions like sending your spouse and children to the slopes for a weekend of skiing. You had your 13-yr-old hide the remote control. You cancelled the paper delivery, lowered the volume on your message machine and stocked the refrigerator with TV dinners. You DID IT! Your plan for 2008 is written in stone and into your calendar. Fast forward to January 31st. You set 5 goals to accomplish by the end of January and two of them have not been crossed off. These two unfinished goals seem to be lifting off the page, mocking you. The Gremlin in your mind can smell the failure, is drooling and smacking his gruesome lips. He leans in close to your auditory cortex and here is what he tells you:
“See there, all that goal-setting nonsense didn’t get you anywhere. What a waste of time. Just forget about the rest of those crazy goals. You’re not going to do them anyway. You’re just too unorganized and way too busy. You’re just not good at sticking to your plans.”
And here starts “The Fall.” The tumble can be steep and long, even littered with boulders. Can anything stop your dizzying somersaults? Do you really have to hit the proverbial “rock bottom?”
I believe that the thing many of us neglect to launch our meaningful endeavors with is the same thing that can stop a downhill spiral. The key is GRACE. Other synonyms for Grace are kindness, poise and blessing. If we mentally poise ourselves at the beginning of any undertaking with some self-directed kindness, thus unleashing the flow of Grace, our accomplishments, regardless of how big or small, would be perceived as blessings and can shield us from the Gremlin’s fall.
Luckily, even if we do not first prepare ourselves with Grace and find ourselves falling on that slippery slope, we need only reach for the ever-waiting arms of Grace to help carry us back up the mountain.
Is there a formula for practicing Grace? I’m glad that you asked. My personal formula for practicing Grace is: G=R 3 , or Grace=(Recall) x (Reaffirm) x (Recommit).
The first step is to Recall all that you have accomplished in the past and to imagine the lift of good feelings and rush of endorphins that accompanied those wins. Next, it’s very important that you Reaffirm who you know yourself to be at your very best. If you’ve got your list of positive affirmations, read them. If not, write a new set of 10 positive affirmations immediately. Finally, Recommit to those goals, visions and/or aspirations that you feel passionate about. If you’ve lost the fire for one goal or the other, examine why that might be. Is fear holding you back? If it is, it’s likely a very worthwhile goal that needs to be broken down into smaller steps. If you feel a sense of boredom or simple disinterest, scrap it from the plan and move on.
Giving yourself Grace is not about giving yourself excuses. Excuses are external, verbal creations that are given to people whom you believe hold expectations of you. Grace is personal and steeped in forgiveness and new solutions. Excuses are mired in guilt and many times an unspoken desire to pass-off responsibility.
The following is a very famous quote that, perhaps, when you read it this time, will impact your consciousness in a whole new way.
“God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other” - Reinhold Niebuhr
All great accomplishments start internally, as a seed of thought in the mind. The goals that we set are the first promises we make to ourselves to bring those thoughts into action. If along the way we become derailed, or some of our goals seem to elude us, all we ever need do is to Recall, Reaffirm and Recommit, thereby summoning the blessings of Grace. ]]>http://pblog.icancoaching.net/index.php?entry=entry080116-1408222008-01-16T00:00:00Z2008-01-16T00:00:00ZGo Completely Mental There are plenty of well-documented theories on why the change of seasons directly impacts our state of mind. However, what I believe would be more impactful than reading about the cause is discussing how to capitalize on the effect!
First, let’s illustrate the two avenues people take when they “go mental” during the colder months. There’s the group that searches out creative outlets and there’s the group that stews in their ruminations. You may recall a brisk November day when you came home to find your significant other curled up in a blanket, staring out into the backyard. You, being the concerned and sensitive partner that you are ask, “Honey, is everything ok?” And your partner, having gone mental, responds without turning to look at you, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about a lot of things…” Unfortunately, the outlet for the “Stew In It” group tends to be the unsuspecting partner.
On the flip side, you may recall a brisk November day when you came home to find your significant other curled up in a blanket at the kitchen table with family photos strewn about, scrapbooking tools at the ready. Or, perhaps your partner had pulled the table saw out from the garage or the paints and paint brushes that had been in the closet since last year. And you, being the interested and curious partner that you are ask, “Honey, what are you up to?” And your partner, having gone mental, responds by looking at you with enthusiasm sparkling in their eyes and says, “I just got this crazy urge to….” (you fill in the blank).
We know instinctively what comes next in both of the above scenarios. So which avenue do you want to pursue? I believe that allowing ourselves some creative play during this contemplative time of year can ignite and inspire our career and personal aspirations. For most businesses, the winter months dictate a slowing-down period. What better opportunity to release your creative genius and tap into a part of your brain that mostly lies dormant the rest of the year?
So, what can you do right now to draw the best out of this winter “moodscape”?
Like everything else in life, it boils down to choice, which further boils down to conscious effort. Here’s an exercise to get you conscious about your choices. For the best possible outcome, invite your significant other to do this exercise as well.
Select 5 creative activities that you can engage in once a week throughout the winter:
Journal Photography Scrap-booking Create a skit with your kids Pencil sketch Play a board game Write poetry Photography Create a skit with your kids Paint Write a letter to a friend Create bead jewelry Blueprint your dream home Crotchet/knit/sew Do a science experiment Create a new logo Write a song Play an instrument Create a new chili recipe Build a house of cards Do a puzzle Make & name your own beer Create a vision board Write a sermon for church Sculpt with clay Write a family newsletter Rearrange your furniture Build a blanket fort with your kids Bake and decorate a cake
Of course, these are just examples to help get your creative ideas popping. Once you have selected the activities that you will engage in, put them into your calendar and treat them like any appointment you wouldn’t dare miss.
I believe that by taking advantage of this seasonal phenomenon and engaging the creative mind, we set off a domino effect that leads to more ingenious problem solving, negotiating, strategic planning and brainstorming in our business lives. The following famous quotes capture the importance of unleashing one’s creative brilliance.
Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
The ability to convert ideas into things is the secret to outward success. -Henry Ward Beecher
Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein
What if instead of throwing more ideas at the walls of your company’s next strategic planning conference, you threw several colors of paint? Or, in place of giving your boss a 20-page sales plan, you gave her a 30x40 Vision Board instead? How about having your team “Show-n-Tell” their goals during their next performance review? You might be thinking, “Has she gone completely mental?” Yes, yes, I have. And though I cannot predict where this creative landscape will take me or you, I know that it will provide solutions, new perspectives and limitless rewards.
I invite you this season to succumb to your creative genius, unleash the possibilities and enjoy going completely mental! I promise that your significant other will thank you for it.
All my best, Coach V. ]]>http://pblog.icancoaching.net/index.php?entry=entry071125-1101192007-11-25T00:00:00Z2007-11-25T00:00:00ZAll In Does being “all in” come to one after a certain and deliberate set of action steps? Does being “all in” occur when the chips are down, or when you feel at your safest and most secure? Does it happen overnight or after years of coaching, therapy and a lone six-month back-packing trip to Budapest? Yes! Yes, it does. You may feel I just dealt you an unsolvable riddle. The simple fact is that the cards that you have been dealt are always the winning cards. And, more spiritually, can you really second guess what God (or whatever higher being you believe in), created you to be? Wayne Dyer captures this in his book, The Power of Intention , when he writes, “I accept the guidance and assistance of the same force that created me. I let go of my ego, and I trust in this wisdom to move at its own peaceful pace. I make no demands on it.”
Let’s dissect Mr. Dyer’s affirmation to uncover the source of awe we feel when we read it. The active words or verbs in this quote are accept , create , let , trust and make . I can’t help but sense a message within the message, that is, in order to make or create the life we envision, we must not demand but simply accept and trust that the path we find ourselves on today will undoubtedly lead us to it.
Think about all of the times that you pushed, insisted, manipulated or out-right strong armed a person or a number of people into making a particular situation you desired come to fruition. Did it turn out as you had hoped? Were your “demands” met? Your vision fulfilled? I’ll bet that you were met with more challenges, set-backs and resistance than you first imagined and that the outcome was far from sweet.
Proclaiming to be ALL IN does not mean that we put our wishes, desires and goals above everyone else’s, nor does it mean pushing forward like a tornado obliterating everything in our path. Rather, being ALL IN means taking 100% responsibility for one’s self, knowing that there is a direct connection between our own goals and dreams and those of every other living human being and remembering that no one achieves success alone. This viewpoint was first introduced to me three years ago when I had the good fortune of seeing Zig Ziglar at a conference in San Diego, California. He said, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”
What feats do you believe you could accomplish by proclaiming, “I’m all in!” For one of my clients, being “all in” meant becoming an impeccable Leader, one whose team members will stretch as far she needs them to. For another client, it propelled him to tap into his talents as a public speaker, whereby he is now sharing his genius with dozens of people each month. For yet another, this silent proclamation spurred him to open his own company and become an entrepreneur who now enjoys more freedom than he ever has. You might wonder, ‘Is there something that these three people had in common?’ Absolutely! But if you thought it had anything to do with education, background, personality, money, environment, luck or I.Q. you would be way off the mark. What it does have to do with is this… They had a belief. They took risks, lots of them. They did not act alone and they gave and gave and gave.
If you’re ready to put in all your chips, what you need to do first is ask yourself these three questions: What do I believe in, passionately and absolutely? What risks am I taking today to enjoy my dreams tomorrow? Who do I know who could benefit from my assistance in some capacity or another?
Once you have gained clarity in regard to these three questions, you’ll have the confidence to stare destiny square in the eye, while deliberately moving that tall stack of chips out in front of you and declare, “I’m ALL in!”
-Coach V. ]]>http://pblog.icancoaching.net/index.php?entry=entry071023-2013352007-10-24T00:00:00Z2007-10-24T00:00:00ZFail! And Do it Often So, when I tell you to “Fail!” what I mean is, be aware that life and living is about growth and growing. If we don’t miss the target every now and again, then we aren’t firing nearly enough. Mistakes, faux paus, errors, failures, losses, misses, defeats…are simply moments in time that we all endure and in so doing, by the nature of the human spirit, we will rise, we will rise, we will rise.
This idea is best articulated in a quote more than 4,000 years old by Confucius who said, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
When you ask a person to describe the character of a successful person, words such as, courageous, risk-taker, indomitable, determined, brave and persistent are commonly chosen. If we examine these characteristics closely, in order to be any one of these, there is an assumption that you have overcome obstacles, difficulties, set-backs, and sometimes, even pain. Therefore, failure is a key ingredient to becoming enormously successful.
Thomas Edison, whose character was painted by many of the before-mentioned adjectives, happened to be both the greatest failure and the greatest success in the history of invention. No other person failed at more experiments than he, nor was granted more patents. He summarized this phenomenon in the following humorous and insightful quote, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
What if you were told by an ancient oracle that you would become the wealthiest, healthiest and happiest person in the world, but you first had to fail at least 10,000 times before achieving these states? Would you allow failure into your life, then? Might you be eager to attempt all that you fear the most in order to live the life that you envision?
What if I told you that the ancient oracle actually lives within you, not outside of you, and that the mantras you repeat in your mind every day wield enough power to make whatever it is that you are focusing on an absolute reality? The following are words from incredibly inspiring people who realized that failure is not to be feared but simply accepted as a stepping stone to greatness:
“Before success comes in any man’s life, he is sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps, some failure. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and most logical thing to do is quit. And that is exactly what the majority of men and women do.” – Napoleon Hill
"Everyone faces difficulties every step of the way. The difference between high achievers and low achievers is simply that high achievers utilize adversity and struggles for growth, while low achievers allow difficulties and adversity to overwhelm them and leave them discouraged and dejected.” –Brian Tracy
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” -Robert F. Kennedy
What do you feel that you have failed at in your life up to this point? Looking back on the situation now, can you discover at least one success that was born from what seemed like a loss at the time? What characteristics did you display? What did you learn and how did you grow from this experience? Take about 15 minutes to really think about this. Meditate on how you felt at the time in the face of what you believed was a failure and then move your thoughts to how you feel right now. Can you see that this was simply a stepping stone in your life?
So what is different about what you might be afraid to fail at now? Likely, you will discover that absolutely nothing about the fear itself has changed. You hit the same old play button with the same old recording…I’m not smart enough…People don’t care what I have to say…I’m not that good. Sound familiar? Feel the fear and do it anyway, as Jack Canfield would say. What do you have to lose? More importantly, what do you have to gain?
Take out your journal and write down everything that you have been fearing to fail at. Your list might look something like this:
I am fearful of failing at speaking in front of a large audience. I am fearful of failing at losing 20lbs. I am fearful of not appearing knowledgeable in my industry.
Once you feel that you have released every fear from your mind, go back and strike out the fear and write one small step that you could be excited about taking that would bring you closer to being beyond the fear. For example:
I am fearful of failing at speaking in front of a large audience. I am excited to take my presentation home and invite two friends over to be my audience.
I am fearful of failing at losing 20lbs. I am excited to cut out fast foods from my diet for a period of one month, starting this month.
I am fearful of not appearing knowledgeable in my industry. I am excited to read something about my industry for 15min every day.
Commit each month to achieving these small steps and then journaling to discover what each stepping stone on your path looks like for the next month and the next. Before you know it, this accumulation of small victories will bring you to your ultimate goal. Remember, failures will be part of the journey, but your oracle can remind you along the way, “If you’re not failing, you’re also not succeeding.”
-Coach V ]]>http://pblog.icancoaching.net/index.php?entry=entry070913-1911002007-09-14T00:00:00Z2007-09-14T00:00:00ZWhy the Truth Hurts I believe that the truth only ever hurts when it’s being smothered, stepped on, choked down, squeezed, ignored, rejected and betrayed. Truth, in and of itself, is inert unless acted upon. There’s only two ways to act upon a thing: You can act positively or negatively. It is a personal choice as to which it will be at any given moment.
To illustrate the above point, let’s take the example of the “toxic” employee. Jane has worked for you for 10 years, and she knows your products, processes, and systems inside and out. Jane is on a first name basis with all of your customers, business partners and vendors. Jane never misses work and is always on time. Jane also has a habit of undermining your authority. She frequently shares information with your vendors and business partners that you prefer her not to share. Jane’s moods are driven by her personal life, the weather, and the very rotation of the sun and moon. Jane hates change and every time you attempt to streamline your business or upgrade your systems, she bitterly complains to your other employees and stalls progress by extolling ALL of the reasons why YOUR way can never work. You’ve talked to Jane about your concerns many times and she always apologizes and always has a reason as to why she is doing or not doing whatever it is. Does Jane sound familiar? How long did it take before you finally had to let Jane go? Or….is she still working for you?
We know in the above example that the Manager is acting upon the truth in a negative manner. The Manager is stuffing down, ignoring, and giving excuses for the truth. Why? Doesn’t she want to be set free, be open to new possibilities, and make a fresh start? The likely answer to all three is “Yes!” But the real truth is yet to be acknowledged and enacted in a positive manner. She may be afraid of confrontation, or has a fear of being disliked, or holds a belief that she isn’t good enough. She is hurting every day because she is actively beating up the truth. And isn’t the real truth that we each should respect our own needs enough to align ourselves with good people who are ethical, knowledgeable, respectful and kind? In this example, by keeping this “toxic” employee on our team, we are mutilating our core truth….that we actually have everything we need in order to make a change and live our lives exactly as we imagine it at its best.
So why do we seem to put all of our energies behind choking down the truth instead of simply embracing it and then acting on it in a positive manner? Why do we linger in the pain, anxiety, fear and negative internal chatter when it’s clear that our rational mind knows exactly what to do and has been telling us all along? If you’re like most people, you’re probably in the habit of waiting until your body begins to display signs like high blood pressure, headaches, acne breakouts, aching muscles, increased or decreased appetite, insomnia or narcolepsy, before you even consider giving your internal battle a wave of the white flag.
Rick Carson, author of Taming Your Gremlin describes this internal battle as “grappling with your Gremlin.” The Gremlin, he says, “…is the narrator in your head. He has influenced you since you came into this world, and accompanies you throughout your existence. He tells you who and how you are, and he defines and interprets your every experience. He wants you to accept his interpretations as reality, and his goal, from moment-to-moment, day-to-day, is to squelch the natural, vibrant you within. He uses some of your past experiences to hypnotize you into forming and living your life in accordance with self-limiting and sometimes frightening generalizations about you.”
So what can you do when the truth is gnawing at you and your Gremlin is actively jumping up and down on it? The answer is… simply notice it . In the moment when you know you should be taking positive action and your Gremlin is giving you all of the reasons why you should not fire your toxic employee, or confront a family member who has hurt your feelings, or give bad news to a valuable customer, simply notice that your Gremlin is grumbling in the background of your mind, then immediately look for the door that needs to be opened in order to move past your Gremlin and into an open space of possibilities. Don’t get ensnarled or try to rationalize why your Gremlin is saying the things that it is, just recognize that it is. Then decide to consider some action-oriented options.
One option would be to examine where in your life, right now, that you are hurting. Are you ignoring the fact that you have a friend who is treating you disrespectfully? Are you rejecting ways that could help you to grow your business or accelerate your career? Do you possess a talent that you are currently smothering? Are you stepping on the people who could help you get to the next level in your business or personal life?
Take a piece of paper and draw three columns. In the first column, write down three things that you are hurting over in your business or personal life. In the second column, write down what the core truth is about each situation. In the final column, write down one thing that you could do to positively impact each truth. Give yourself some quiet time to search around in your core for these truths. When you experience the revisiting flicker of a thought that you attempt to push out, but that strikes you with a feeling of guilt, disappointment, shame or anxiety….STOP, and write it down…these are indicators that this is one of those truths that you have been ignoring.
Remember, the truth hurts only when you’re letting it, so ensure your success by sharing this exercise with a trusted advisor, friend, or Coach. Ask to be held accountable to take the three action steps you have outlined for yourself. And, oh, simply notice what your Gremlin just whispered and get out your notebook and pen anyway!
]]>http://pblog.icancoaching.net/index.php?entry=entry070815-1636382007-08-15T00:00:00Z2007-08-15T00:00:00ZAre Your Weekly Team Meetings Weak? So what does a leader have to do to get his team to show up consistently to weekly team meetings and actually participate? The answer is simple…Make it fun! Yes, F.U.N. There’s always going to be facts, figures, projections and corporate news that must be shared, but that doesn’t have to be the whole enchilada. What about the jalapenos, black olives, extra cheese and sour cream? These “extras” can be added into your weekly team meetings in the form of connection, vision, sharing, creativity, empowerment, vulnerability and encouragement.
The following are ideas and activities that some of my clients have implemented with their teams that have reported having boosted morale, strengthened the team bond, and increased productivity.
Envision it Introduce the idea of developing one’s own vision. Explain to the team that by creating their own Vision Boards they can keep their focus on exactly what they aspire to be and do. By keeping that vision clearly in front of them every day, they will be reminded of the “why” behind every project, task and choice they take on. Have them cut out pictures of their dream home, vacation destinations and words that inspire them. These cut-outs, plus photos, drawings and anything else that visually motivates them can then be glued onto a poster board. Instruct the team to complete the project at home, and then schedule the next meeting to have each person share their vision board with the team.
What you need: -Your own vision board to share, first. Being a Leader means walking the talk and blazing the trail. -20 or so used magazines. -Poster boards -Scissors
Standing Ovation One of my clients starts off every meeting with a standing ovation. They clap and cheer for a job well done for the week. Select one person from the group who exhibited excellence during the previous week. Perhaps your Administrative Assistant went above and beyond in helping to calm an irate client or maybe, one of your team members came up with a processing efficiency or new marketing tactic. Once you have described the “deed,” then announce the individual and have them rise to receive their own standing ovation. Lastly, ask the team if there is anyone that someone would like to recognize or thank personally. Receiving kudos from one’s peers can have a powerfully positive effect on the team dynamics.
What you need: -To be conscious. Look for excellence and make sure to note it so that you can easily recall it later. -Lots of energy. Lead by example by clapping and cheering in a boisterous manner. Act self-assured and make it safe for your team members to feel that they can follow your lead.
The Art of Positivity and Possibility Integrate positivity and possibility into the team culture by making resources readily available. Bring in your favorite motivational/inspirational books, CDs, movies, podcasts, presentations, website resources, etc to share with your team. Perhaps you will set aside one meeting a month to watch a movie like “The Secret.” Or you could start a book of the month club and hold one meeting a month at a local restaurant to facilitate a roundtable discussion of the book. I used to start off my team meetings by asking one person to share their favorite quote for the week or passage from a book. I would give them the opportunity to share why the selected verse held meaning for them. Just think, you may be giving people the only opportunity that they will have all week to think in terms of positivity and possibility, and THAT is the gift of true leadership. What you need: -A variety of books, CDs, movies, podcasts and website resources on topics, such as, goal setting, life planning, self-confidence, self-awareness, manifestation, vision, personal growth, etc. -A “Keeper” of the resources. Select one team member to be the Librarian, so to speak, for your resources. -A set of engaging questions to kick-start discussion around the book, movie or CD.
The Gratitude Box It wasn’t long after one of my clients watched the movie, The Secret, that this idea was born. The gratitude box is today’s new and improved version of the suggestion box. Anyone who has worked in a corporate environment will recall the ever-present, colorfully decorated shoe box that sat in the middle of a desk in a conference room rarely holding more than one or two secretly written suggestions, generally both from the same individual. Being the great Leader that you are, I’m sure that you have elected to maintain an “open door policy” whereby suggestions are made freely and openly. Therefore, instead of a suggestion box, christen a prominent place to keep your own gratitude box. Encourage your team to write down one thing that they are grateful for every day and drop it into the gratitude box before they leave. Select one person each week to end the meeting by reading all of the gratitude notes. This is an excellent way to end every meeting on a positive note and to help your team focus more on each day’s gifts.
What you need: -Shoe box, hat box, Tupperware or other container -Designate someone on the team to be the Gratitude Box artist -Pen (attached to box) and paper
Dream Big…Reward Big Gaining “buy-in” from your team as it relates to new system implementations, software enhancements, new product introductions, setting goals and other important growth initiatives is the single most important endeavor that all good leaders must champion if they are going to succeed. Whatever goal you’ve got your eye on, make sure that the entire team is brought in to help you dream big, agree on individual target goals and most importantly to brainstorm and vote on a team reward. One client’s team decided that when they hit their target goal they are going to embark on a team shopping spree at the mall with a handsome budget and lunch included! Another client’s team showed off their adventurous spirit by deciding that when they hit their goals they would take to the clouds for a team sky diving trip. It’s important to post the goals where everyone can see them and to update them weekly. Remember, set the bar high and let the Team celebrate BIG.
What you need: -A team stretch goal -Individual goals, including your own -Designate someone on the team to create the Goal Board -Post actuals on the Goal Board at the end of every week.
Share the Stage Is there anyone on your Team who seems to share more often than the rest, shares opinions openly, asks a lot of questions, or seems to be limitless in their creativity, or has strong organizational skills? Then move aside and let someone else drive for a change. Look for the opportunity to have one of your team members facilitate the Team meeting once a month. Give everyone on your team a chance to share something that they are passionate about as it relates to the business, your specific industry or a particular function or process improvement that they would like to pitch. Be sensitive to the fact that public speaking is what the majority of the population fears the most, so don’t press the issue if someone on your team has a fearful reaction to your request. Sharing the stage can help you to identify your next team leader, expose talents that would have otherwise gone unnoticed, and provide another platform for individual growth.
What you need: - To be conscious. Be aware of your Team and their passions, attitudes and skills. - Less ego. Don’t horde “the stage.” Remember that you can’t get to where you are going alone.
Spicing up your next team meeting by implementing one of the ideas above can put the shine back into your employees’ eyes, kick-up communication a notch and help to establish a positive team culture. Remember, it’s your responsibility to lead by example, so don’t just talk about team spirit, creativity and positive energy, stand up and be the first to applaud a fellow team member TODAY.
Please feel free to share your best team meeting ideas so that we can all spend the remainder of the year inspiring our teams, enjoying the renewed sense of camaraderie and living up to our leadership potential.
All my best, Coach V. ]]>http://pblog.icancoaching.net/index.php?entry=entry070703-1116462007-07-03T00:00:00Z2007-07-03T00:00:00ZSong lyrics that really hit the nail on the head... Consistency By: Ari Heist
Why must it always be stop and go? Where in this life can I find constant flow? Inconsistency on a larger scale Impersistence forcing me to bail out Look left look right look left again before you take a giant step All this side to side takes me out of my groove makes me feel inept I toe the straight line for one short time Forget about regrets and doubts that Make me stop on a dime
I'm a fool for distraction Can't keep cool throughout my action Once in a while I find satisfaction I have too much care beyond my reach And too much love that I can't preach What I really need is consistency
Everywhere that I go I don't want to be Cause I keep telling me "You're missing out, gotta move, gotta break on free" A modern-day busybacksoon Kind of figures cause I was born in June The month of moody, happy feet The people that no one would like to meet Of wandering no-clues, but why should I have to choose?
Chorus
What if what I need is just to believe Day in day out I find I'm searching for the key My head and heart are too stubborn to agree Where it begins must lie within me
I've been so busy finding my way I'm not content with the roles I've been playing But something occurred to me just the other day I am who I am come what may ]]>http://pblog.icancoaching.net/index.php?entry=entry070620-0926142007-06-20T00:00:00Z2007-06-20T00:00:00ZWinning BIG from the Inside-Out
“One of the key reasons that people fail to come anywhere near achieving big goals is that they start off with good intentions but fail to execute daily actions that create forward momentum.”
To further illustrate Mr. Cooper’s point, let’s examine the following anonymous goal list:
1. Call 100 past customers. 2. Create marketing plan for remainder of 2007. 3. Attend networking function every Wednesday. 4. Get 10 new leads by the end of the week.
Look familiar? We can all agree that the above goals are all well-intentioned, high pay-off and important goals, ones that many of us have jotted down into our own journals. So, why is it that even when we dedicate ourselves to writing down our goals, we still aren’t able to JUST DO IT ?
It is my belief and experience after coaching entrepreneurs for the past year, and managing and training a variety of sales and customer support teams for 8 years previous to that, that the key to achieving big goals is to start from the inside-out. Here’s an example of what an “Inside-Out” goals list might look like:
1. Write down 3 things that I am grateful for every day. 2. Watch 2 hours of TV instead of 5. 3. Listen to motivational CD on the way to work every day. 4. Get to bed one hour earlier.
Most of the time, we aren’t achieving BIG goals because we haven’t taken care of our core needs first. Think about it…if you’re not getting to bed at a decent hour every night, then you’re surely not getting into work at a time that is devoid of ringing phones, employee questions and mail delivery and, therefore, you are not likely to plan out your activities, nor possess a positive mind-set in order to win the day. And if you are constantly bombarding yourself with negative self-talk and hours of violent, mind-numbing TV shows, how are you ever going to possess a mentally peaceful and confident demeanor in which to actually attend a weekly networking function, let alone call 100 customers and gain their referrals?
Doing those things that have an immediate and positive impact on our insides holds the key to how many of those BIG goals we’re going to achieve in our external lives. The BIG mistake that most of us make, especially when we’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, is that we give up on our own healthy and spiritually uplifting habits, those that foster a positive mindset. We give up on good eating habits…we give up on our exercise routines, our positive affirmations, our daily planning, adhering to a strict work schedule, our motivational and inspirational reading, journaling, meditation time, dates with our significant other, outings with our children, etc., etc., etc.
Shad Helmstetter, author of “What To Say When You Talk To Your Self,” addresses the idea of working from the inside-out when he speaks to “attitude” in the following excerpt:
“The better the attitude, the better the results, in almost anything we do. Because attitude affects our feelings and feelings affect what we do and how well we do it, having a good attitude can be the deciding factor in our successes or failures. Without the right attitudes we will never have the key that unlocks the treasure chest of happiness and success we so badly want and richly deserve.”
Convincing someone that BIGGER isn’t better can be as challenging as getting someone to JUST DO IT. So let’s start small. Pick just one inside-out goal that you can engage in for 21-straight days. At the end of the 21st day, write down all that you have accomplished in this time period. My prediction is that you will accomplish more towards your BIG goals by simply dedicating yourself to creating a habit out of an inside-out goal first. Start this exercise off by deciding what reward you will give yourself when you have successfully completed this exercise. Find a picture or some other visual representation of your reward and put it someplace that you can see it every day. Create that “forward momentum” starting today, starting from the inside-out. ]]>http://pblog.icancoaching.net/index.php?entry=entry070605-0926352007-06-05T00:00:00Z2007-06-05T00:00:00Z
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